Someone once told me that flooded memories of what once was meant that your brain was showing you how far you have come. Well, with the one year anniversary of my freedom looming just around the corner, apparently my brain wanted to reflect once more. These last couple of days have been rough, I’m not going to lie. Then a good friend reminded me what I know to be true. My toxic five and a half years wasn’t going to define me. Only I could label myself. And so a brand was born.
So if we’re going to look at how far we’ve come, yes I said we because you have been with me this whole time, then we’re going to do it right. Go big or go home, baby! What has this last year brought us? We stepped outside of our comfort zone and began trying random new things. We made a lot of friends along the way. We found out what we were good at and what we were probably not repeating. Heck! We even got on a plane, flew to a foreign country, and met what was at first 15 strangers to do yoga. Who does that?! Certainly not this girl! As a planner by nature, I had to fight my fears and need for control and embrace the unknown to try something different. I did no homework. I made no plans. Luckily the company that we went with took care of everything.
I looked only at the suggested pack list and loaded my trusty nap sack. It wasn’t until a few days before leaving that I began to get nervous. Had I lost my mind? What if everyone backed out and I was left alone in a country I knew nothing about? What if I couldn’t find the freaking cowboy hat?!! All of those “I can’t believe you’re doing this…” and “Do you even know what you have gotten yourself into?...” lectures swirled in my head.
I resolved that I could surely figure it out. I always do. I am a survivor! And wasn’t this what being single was all about? No strings, no commitments, nothing holding me back from the adventures ahead?
I faced my fear of heights as I climbed to the top of the tallest Mayan temple. I even went snorkeling and ate a bug, which I promise you was on my “Not until hell freezes over and then some” list.
So what has this year of freedom brought? Self-knowing. Trust. Adventure. Awkwardness. Excitement. Peace. Friendship. Love for myself. Flexibility. Happiness. Struggle. Independence. Freedom. Satisfaction, and so much more! This anniversary is going to be a celebration like it deserves to be.