Someone once told me that flooded memories of what once was meant that your brain was showing you how far you have come from a certain situation. Well, with my one year anniversary of freedom looming just around the corner, apparently my brain wanted to reflect once more. These last couple of days have been rough, I’m not going to lie. Then a good friend reminded me of what reality entailed. This toxic situation wasn’t going to define me. I had a legal piece of paper stating so! Only I could label myself. And so a brand was born.
So if we’re going to look at how far we’ve come, yes I said we because you have been with me the whole time, then we’re going to do it right. Go big or go home baby! So what has this last year brought for us?... We stepped outside of our comfort zone and began trying random new things. We made a lot of friends along the way. We found out what we were good at and what we were okay not repeating. Heck! We even got on a plane, flew to a random country, and met what was first 15 strangers! Who does that?! Certainly not this girl! As a planner by nature, I fought my normal urge and instead embraced the desire to try something different. I did no homework. I made no plans. Luckily the company that we went with took care of anything you could think of and even what you couldn’t! Otherwise, I’m sure this would be a very different blog post….
I looked at the suggested pack list only and packed my trusty nap sack. It wasn’t until a few days before that I began to get nervous. Had I lost my mind? What if everyone missed the plane and I was left alone in a country I knew nothing about? What if I couldn’t find the freaking cowboy hat?!! All of those “I can’t believe you’re doing this…” and “Do you even know what you have gotten yourself into?...” lectures swirled in my head.
No. You know what? I may end up in Belizian jail or even lost in the jungle forever if I never found that dang cowboy hat of rescue, but I was going to do this. I would figure it out. I always do. I was a survivor! And wasn’t this what being single was all about? No strings, no commitments, nothing holding you back with ongoing adventure ahead? I had my return flight so the only plan I made was to make sure I got back to the airport so I could go home.
But it turned out no one missed their flight. I wasn’t alone. We found that glorious cowboy hat, and I was having the best time ever! I faced my fear of heights as I climbed to the top of the tallest Mayan temple. I even went snorkeling and ate a bug which I promise you was on my “Not until hell freezes over and then some” list.
So what has this year of freedom brought? Self-knowing. Trust. Adventure. Awkwardness. Excitement. Peace. Friendship. Love for oneself. Flexibility. Happiness. Struggle. Independence. Freedom. Satisfaction, and so much more!
This anniversary is going to be a celebration like it deserves to be. And even though memories will come and go, they make you the strong, survivor that so many of us are!
A girl just trying to find her way, stepping outside of her comfort zone, trying new things, and making new friends along the way!