While watching a Hallmark Christmas movie with my mother, they were trying to come up with reasons why they preferred to be single and not in a relationship. After the list included dancing around naked at 2am, not having to sacrifice doing what you want to do for someone else's selfish needs, and others were said I exclaimed, "EXACTLY! This is why I'm still single!"
My mother responded with her usual, "Single and lonely." And with those three short words suddenly I found myself very irritated to the core. Not because of the specific comment. Let's face it. It's not the only time I have been told that single equaled lonely. It was the fact that even after 39 years, this woman continued to know absolutely nothing about her own daughter.
So many people I cross paths with usually give me the look of horror followed by a pity glance, pat on the hand, and some ridiculous comment like, "You'll find someone eventually dear. Don't lose hope." I'm sorry, what? Since when did not having a man equaled losing all hope in life and one's self? Oh yeah...since the beginning of time. (She says rolling her eyes sarcastically)....
Unfortunately for most, even with a new year there lacks a new perspective on life. You see, I am quite content being alone. I'm an amazing date, I make myself laugh into tears, and I never get tired of being with me. I wake up content and go to bed content, because since starting Chasing Stormi almost five years ago I have learned the most important lesson I could ever learn in a lifetime: I am enough. I know exactly what I am worth and what I deserve. I'm just not willing to settle for second best or even 137th best just to "not be single anymore". This tends to blow people's mind, which is hilarious to me, but it's a matter of perspective to be honest. Old perspectives, however, continue to outweigh the new.
Some people are lucky to find their soulmates early in life, marry their high school sweethearts, and then die together like in The Notebook. Others find them a little later in life, and that's okay too. Some people would rather being in a relationship, even if it's the worst fit possible just to not be alone. Others are titled "People Pleasers" that don't care who they're with as long as they're making people happy. Much like Julia Robert's character in The Runaway Bride, they find themselves not knowing how they like their own eggs. Sadly, not all of us wise up to actually run when we're standing at the alter and end up signing the paperwork anyway, just accepting that we will never be able to tell someone how to cook our own darn eggs. The majority of the population typically falls into one of these four categories.
Some people, however, are put on a different destiny path. It can contain a lot of heartache, loss of identity and self worth, depression, and even worse. Then one day they're forced to face their true destiny, which is to use all of these crazy life experiences and help others that are suffering. To let them know not only that they are not alone, but help them see just how valuable they are. It's not a destiny path that many are strong enough to go down, or that others understand while standing on the outside. But just because someone's perspective of you or your life choices doesn't make sense to them doesn't make it any less right for you. After all, it's your destiny path and not theirs.
Either way, my perspective has adjusting for 2019. I'm just fine being "lonely", because being "lonely" means I am not settling for less than I deserve. That's not to say that someone won't join me on my journey down the road. It just means that unworthy freeloaders will have to find another ride to ride. This one is closed until you prove you're worth me and my precious time. I will continue to be proud of how far I have come from eating everyone's version of eggs, and finally knowing exactly how I want mine. I'm making sure I get them ordered that way too. It has not just been in the dating arena either that these changes have been witnessed. There's nothing wrong with wanting a better job that allows you to work smarter and not harder while still covering your bills on a single income. There's also nothing wrong with remaining distant from very toxic people, even if they are blood or not.
I realized on a recent visit that no matter how much other people continue to stay the same, I have not. I am forever growing. 2018 may have not been the best year for me. Neither was 2017 to be honest. However, realizing your true worth and the true power you hold is the key to having the greatest year of success. I have witnessed first-hand just how far I have personally gone, and I haven't even started yet! So good-bye 2018, cause this girl is about to take 2019 by storm!
A girl just trying to find her way, stepping outside of her comfort zone, trying new things, and making new friends along the way!