There is an old saying from where I don’t know; I just know it changed my life.
“No is a complete sentence.”
Another old saying was a little outside my comfort zone, but well worth pushing through.
“When you stop pleasing people, people stop being pleased.”
When I first heard that statement, my heart literally froze. The thought that I would be making people unhappy—that I wouldn’t be seen as nice—was the worst possible thing I could image. I was completely comfortable putting my needs aside to keep everyone around me happy. In fact, I was so good at it that I didn’t even know what I wanted. And that was a huge problem.
No was not in my vocabulary, let alone a complete sentence.
As a result, I was unhappy, restless, unfulfilled and angry all the time. But I couldn’t have told you what would fix it. I was completely out of touch with my needs. That showed up in my life as:
· dating men who thought to call me once a month was too much commitment,
· saying yes to working every holiday weekend because I was single and, you know, didn’t have a family, and
· smiling and proclaiming I really didn’t mind when my friends blew me off for something better to do.
I was the flexible friend/girlfriend/sister, the easy going one, the one who ALWAYS said “sure” and “no problem.”
That attitude was slowly killing me. I had very little joy in my life. I was insanely stressed out. In fact, I was so stressed that I developed some pretty serious health problems. My doctor’s prescribed cure was to quit my job.
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