When it comes to independence, I’m the type of gal who likes to prove how independent I am (this likely comes from the fact that I’m 20 years old but still). I do not like depending on other people. I need to know that whatever happens in anyone else’s life, I take care of myself. I hate seeing lovely and strong women feeling less than that because somebody decided to leave their life. These are women who have all the tools at their disposal to take care of themselves, but instead allow someone else to do it for them. I don’t care how much you love someone, if you do not have a handle on your personal affairs, you are not independent.
Which is fine! I never want to say that someone else’s lifestyle doesn’t work because I don’t think it does. However, this month is about fostering independence in yourself, and as we all strive to become classy women, part of that is knowing you are the only one handling your business.
My suggestion to the ladies reading this? Take a couple minutes out of your day and write down everything logical that you need taken care of (whether you’ve handled it or not): bills, groceries, cleaning, any health issues, broken things around the house, beauty, hair, and skin care (yes I did phrase it that way just so it would rhyme), etc. That all needs to be handled before you can be happy.
Happiness is so important!! If you are not happy in your life, something is wrong. We all deserve to have light in our lives and part of that comes from releasing the pressure of not needing to owe anybody anything. If there is anything on that list that someone else is taking care of for you on a consistent basis
- because God knows everyone needs help sometimes - find one little way today to put it back in your control.
Not everyone is as much of a control freak as I am, I’m aware of that, but knowing that I can take care of myself fully, without needing anyone, releases me from feeling desperate and stressed and allows me to fully enjoy my own life.
Classiness is when a woman has everything to flaunt, but chooses not to show it. I believe that also applies to healthy independence. If you have a handle on all your personal issues, you have space in your life to open up to anything else you feel you are lacking: love, friendship, travel, culture, education, anything. Why would you let someone else have that control over you when you are fully capable of
doing it yourself? Because I promise that you are.
**If someone is telling you that you are not capable, kick that asshole to the curb using your best boots because you are powerful, you are strong, you are independent.**
Only once you have a grasp on your personal necessities can you truly begin to enjoy the life that has been given to you. So get creative and stay classy.
In the summer, all I have to do is step outside and my curls turn into a frizzy mess. Frizz, with curly or straight hair, affects so many of us. Why frizz? A lack of moisture in your hair can cause the follicles to “lift up” and give your hair a halo of fuzz. Too much moisture can leave your hair a flat and oily mess.
Check your shampoo and conditioner. Are you getting enough moisture from those? If you’ve been using the same product in the shower and you are still experiencing less than smooth hair, it might be time to change. It can take some hits and misses to find the products that work best. I recommend trying travel sizes or going to your stylist for free samples so that you can really find what works for you. Also, switch up how you use your shampoo and conditioner. If your hair is on the sensitive side, shampooing every other day but conditioning daily can help your hair stay both clean and smooth. If you’ve only been washing your hair every other day and have frizz, it might be time to scrub your hair daily. Whether your hair is curly or straight, or somewhere in between, make sure that you work your conditioner through your hair fully and work out any knots slowly with your fingers. NEVER break a snarl or knot with a brush or comb. Broken hair is frizzy hair.
Your after-shower routine is also incredibly important for the health of your hair. With curls, a vigorous towel dry, followed by a thorough finger combing, not brushing, can go a long way to combating unruly frizz. Towel drying and brushing straight hair ONLY WHILE WET is also recommended. If you want your hair dryer, faster, a light mousse or moisturizing spray can protect your hair from the heat of the dryer or the curling iron. Always blow dry your hair from the roots, and if you really want to avoid split ends, leave them a little damp. If your roots are dry, the rest of your hair will dry quickly.
All this morning preparation doesn’t always prepare your hair for a full day, and there is nothing like looking in the mirror mid-afternoon and seeing a hair metal band member staring back. For a quick soothing refresher, an inexpensive and easy fix is children’s detangler. It’s lightweight and can help you avoid an oily look, the other side of frizz. With straight hair, a few spritz of detangler and a light brushing will smooth your locks without weighing them down. If you have curly hair, finger combing the detangler through will give your curls definition and shine, with no frizz. After using the detangler, you can always add a little bit more of your styling product to refresh your poppin’ look.
Frizzy hair can be vanquished with patience and moisture, giving you smooth and shiny locks to turn heads wherever you go.
Independent. That is a word I have always used to describe myself. From the time I could say the word, it has been important to take care of myself.
To me, independence always meant financial independence.
Recently, though, I have realized that independence is about so much more than money. In fact, I think the money is the least important part of it.
Today, I see independence as being in control of my life. It means owning my time, being my own authority, making decisions that impact all aspects of life.
I want all of that control.
And I want all women to have that control over their own lives.
How does it happen?
I believe this kind of independence happens by being your own boss.
That may seem contrary to the traditional wisdom that independence comes from an IRA and savings account. Owning a business is too risky. It might fail.
I think it’s the opposite. I think working for other people, helping them reach their dreams instead of following your own is too risky.
I remember the days of my boss watching the clock to track the number of hours I worked rather than the quality of the work I produced. I remember spending hours in the car commuting, too tired when I got home to have a life. I remember the men with families who made more for doing less just because they had a family to support. I remember a VP telling my about his holiday trip to Tahiti knowing that I’d be working that entire holiday weekend.
No thank you. Life is too short.
I have been a business owner for 15 years, and I will never go back. I think business ownership gives women complete freedom and control over their lives. When you are your own boss:
In short, you are in control of your destiny.
I believe that if the thought of owning your own business has ever crossed your mind, then go for it.
Starting a business does not need to be all or nothing—you can significantly reduce the risk by going slow. My advice to create a solid business that gives you the independence you crave is to get your foundation set before you jump in full time.
Doing these three things will reduce the risk and increase the reward.
And, of course, have fun while your planning your career revolution. Because a big piece of independence is the pure fun it opens up for you in your life.