“Let’s talk about sex baby,” as the popular 90s group, Salt-N-Pepper, would say. Well, your inner sex goddess that is. Now before you roll your eyes and give up on me, hear me out…What if I told you there was a safe, hidden gem in downtown Kansas City that probably hasn’t crossed your radar that helps you find your inner sex goddess in 60 minutes or less?
“Who says I need that?” you might ask, and I will you tell. EVERY empowering woman that walks this earth needs this! Whether you want to admit it or not. Believe me, I get it. You, like the rest of the planet is sexed out. As a marketing expert the age old tale remains true to today. Sex sells. With the human race being beaten by gold fish around the world to have the attention span of only eight seconds, companies have to throw all they’ve got at us just to get noticed. However, in the process, we’re overloaded and over the concept of being sexy all together.
Adolescents aren’t exactly helping the cause these days either. Despite what one might say, you’re not a prude for noticing that napkins cover laps more than most of the dresses and shorts worn these days. Looking up to the Kardashians, and shows such as Sweet 16 and wanting so bad to escape actual work in order to be famous on YouTube would drive any parent to their wits ends.
However, despite all of that, we must remember that sex, particularly our inner sex goddess, is what calms the chaos of the life around us. It gives us the empowerment to know that we are better than all of this, and can strive to help others achieve the same. This is why I absolutely LOVE Pole Worx in Kansas City. Despite their website needing work, and the original advertising giving the misleading perception that they were call girls for rent, Pole Worx is actually quite the opposite. Like everyone else, their original marketing plan was to just get noticed, but they’re working on changing that to help people see their true mission: To help women get into shape in a way that empowers like no other!
I mean, seriously. Have you ever seen the body of an exotic dancer up close? Their muscle tone is off the charts, with abs and a tush that make everyone drool with envy! It takes great strength to be able to hold yourself up, let alone do all the swinging and tricks with so much grace and class. So why go and spend hours bored to death while lifting weights, when you can let your hair down, learn some super sexy moves, and get the same result while working out with other women and having a great time? Your inner sex goddess will shower you with empowerment of thankfulness, as she takes off your bifocals, gets rid of the library bun, and shakes off the dust on her dancing shoes!
The best part is you get to have the time of your life with no ogling or judgement. It doesn’t matter if you cannot achieve all of the moves within the first few weeks. The only goal of Pole Worx is to keep you moving and having a great time. You will sweat, there’s no doubt about that! You will find your muscles tone themselves to perfection without much thought, mostly because you will be having way too much fun to notice. You will be eager to see the ladies again. The variety of classes will have you learning all sorts of new tricks and keep the world around you guessing to what you will accomplish next! Although we are guilty of judging books by their covers constantly, I encourage you to come join me in having the time of your life! The empowerment and confidence you will gain in 60 minutes or less can’t be beat. So what do you say? Ready to let that inner sex goddess of yours out to play?....
There is an old saying from where I don’t know; I just know it changed my life.
“No is a complete sentence.”
Another old saying was a little outside my comfort zone, but well worth pushing through.
“When you stop pleasing people, people stop being pleased.”
When I first heard that statement, my heart literally froze. The thought that I would be making people unhappy—that I wouldn’t be seen as nice—was the worst possible thing I could image. I was completely comfortable putting my needs aside to keep everyone around me happy. In fact, I was so good at it that I didn’t even know what I wanted. And that was a huge problem.
No was not in my vocabulary, let alone a complete sentence.
As a result, I was unhappy, restless, unfulfilled and angry all the time. But I couldn’t have told you what would fix it. I was completely out of touch with my needs. That showed up in my life as:
· dating men who thought to call me once a month was too much commitment,
· saying yes to working every holiday weekend because I was single and, you know, didn’t have a family, and
· smiling and proclaiming I really didn’t mind when my friends blew me off for something better to do.
I was the flexible friend/girlfriend/sister, the easy going one, the one who ALWAYS said “sure” and “no problem.”
That attitude was slowly killing me. I had very little joy in my life. I was insanely stressed out. In fact, I was so stressed that I developed some pretty serious health problems. My doctor’s prescribed cure was to quit my job.
Click here to download the free issue of Style, Class, & a little bit of Sass to read the rest of Susan's great tips on how to stop being a people pleaser along with other great tips!
“Classy” is this term where you know it when you see it, but it’s difficult to define, let alone attain. And for most of us, being considered classy is one of the highest compliments you can receive. But why? A quick “classy woman” Google search brought up articles like “How to Spot a Classy Lady (Men, Take Notice)”, “The Classy Girl’s Guide to Be More Attractive to Men”, “Classy not Trashy”, etc.
**Side Opinion: men should not be this important to us. I mean really. Women have got to stop being so concerned with men and their opinions. Class is so much more than what other people think of you.** But what exactly is it? Definitions from Merriam-Webster gave the incredibly specific: “having or reflecting high standards of personal behavior.” Helpful. The beauty of class lies in the fact that it seems unattainable, that it can’t be defined and is therefore only something to strive for but never truly become. I personally think that’s untrue, and the evolution of class supports my statement. So let’s take it all the way back to the beginning - 1891. *cue laugh track* ‘Classy’ is a spinoff of ‘class’, which Oxford Dictionary says is derived from the Latin word for ‘fleet’ or ‘division.’ **Side note - saying that something is classy is actually quite classist, as it was reserved as a descriptor for “the classes” (the rich and educated) vs. “the masses” (everyone else).** ‘Ghetto’ and ‘trashy’ are generally used to describe someone or something which is lower class, whereas ‘classy’ is the opposite. The word wasn’t common in the United States until 1901, on Broadway in W. Clyde Fitch’s The Climbers, a story about American socialites at the dawn of the 20th century. In the popular - and damning - novel The Metropolis by Upton Sinclair about the lifestyles of New York’s rich and obnoxious, the aristocrats are described as “exceedingly classy.” From then on, classy began appearing in advertisements, and there was a significant increase in the usage from 1910 to 1920. Nothing changed for awhile after that; even a 1989 New York Times headline says “Suddenly, Pork Rinds are Classy Crunch” because George H. W. Bush, someone of authority with perceived sophistication, happened to enjoy pork rinds.
A 90s SoCal lifestyle magazine that targeted the average affluent businessman featured ads seeking - or posted from - classy women. From the 90s onward, the definition of class starts getting wishy-washy. As language changes with the people, it began to be used ironically, to be sarcastic, and in that, I believe, is where it lost its meaning. However, the word has retained its power in most crowds, even through Donald Trump’s overuse (seriously just Google “Trump classy” and laugh) and the general attitude of a society where the language is sarcasm.
Click here to download the free issue of Style, Class, & a little bit of Sass to read the rest of Ysabella's great view point of what class means to us today along with other great tips!
It’s Monday morning at 6 am - do you know where your work outfit is? Or how about the shoes to go with your power suit? And don’t even ask about the accessories - you have worn the same pair of gold hoop earrings for the last three weeks, not because you love them but because it’s the only pair of earrings you can find. If any of these workplace fashion scenarios resonate with you, keep on reading!
We have been told for a long time to pick our outfit out before we go to bed to alleviate the morning rush, and that is still a fantastic recommendation. However, if you have a closet full of clothes that are not work ready, the choice can be overwhelming! Perhaps you have that dress jacket that needs to be dry cleaned (although you NEVER make it to the dry cleaners), the sweater that you love but it has a big pull in the threads, and even those pants that used to fit right but haven’t been flattering since last year. These items are obstacles to your morning success, even if you did not realize it!
The way to calm the chaos of your mornings is to develop a capsule wardrobe. The idea of a capsule wardrobe was first introduced in the 1970s, and it is a group of 15-40 pieces of clothing that can be mixed and matched to create multiple outfits. This capsule wardrobe is an idea that is applicable to both your work wardrobe and your casual wardrobe. The idea here is versatility!
Now if you are low key freaking out right now about paring down your closet, consider this: aren’t there already a few key pieces that you wear over and over again? I am 100% confident that your answer would be yes! I would also guess that there are several items in your closet that you bought that you meant to return after you tried them on, or you wore them a few times and it just didn’t feel right on your body. No shame in this game, we all have had that experience.
For me, I am a plus sized gal. The thing that always trips me up when I am purchasing clothes is the arms! God bless my grandma, but I inherited her “bat wings” as we used to call them. I love all my curves but these arm flaps are just too much sometimes, especially when it comes to finding flattering tops, t-shirts, and sweaters. I cannot tell you how many items I have tried on and then put back on the rack because they were too tight around my arms. Now that I have started to rely on online shopping for additions to my wardrobe, I am still encountering the same issue. However, I have also mistakenly just kept some of these items, and never worn them. That clutter is mentally draining, and it also reminds me of what I dislike most about my body, I know it’s time to embrace the comfort of the items I most enjoy wearing while streamlining the offerings in my closet.
Click here to download the free issue of Style, Class, & a little bit of Sass to read the rest of Melissa's great tips to calming the chaos of your wardrobe and other great tips!
Being a woman is such a magical experience, isn’t it? We have intuition and instincts that can shake this planet. We inspire response to our presence wherever we go. We are tenacious and beautiful and gifted with earth shattering talents and abilities. And therein lies the rub, I think. We nurture, we care, we give and we give. We have to fight for yourself to take priority, as we get so busy with the sharing of ourselves, we can somehow find ourselves completely frazzled in the midst of it all.
Chaotic, this women’s life is! Kids to dance or football practice, relationships to nurture, chores like laundry and grocery shopping. And that doesn’t even include our need to shine our light in this world via our work, our careers, our purpose driven passionate endeavors.
How then, do we accomplish this day in and day out? With a smile on our faces and in our hearts? (well, mostly)
I’m a mother, an actress, a writer, a director, a producer. I also enjoy painting, photography, and taking long baths. As I write this, my washer chimes in the background, it’s time to transfer the load to the dryer. There’s reality for you! I’m also preparing for a weekend in Los Angeles, where a film I’m in is premiering - yes, that means red carpet appearance. I can’t remember the last time I did a full makeup regime, or my hair wasn’t thrown into a quick ponytail. I work from home, so these things tend to take the back seat to everything else.
I created, produced and starred as the lead character in my TV Show a few years back. I remember (mostly) working on set upwards of 12 hours, then coming home to my family, who needed me to be present for them.
On just one of those days, I had to fire a crew member for touching a woman inappropriately, my investor showed up and insisted I give her all my attention to answer questions - totally reasonable, except that meant I didn’t get to eat that day and was still shooting 6 more dialogue heavy scenes - there were wardrobe issues to turn anyone’s hair grey, one of our makeup girls was perpetually late and needed to be let go, and I received news that we were short on funds. There’s a day for you. Yes, they were all like that. For 28 days straight. Somehow, I came out the other side.
Click here to download the free issue of Style, Class, & a little bit of Sass to read the rest of Jewelle's great tips on how to stop the chaos in your life along with other great tips!
There was a time when I obsessively found myself grabbing my phone and logging into Facebook. I always wanted to know what my friends’ status update was, the new pictures they had added, the events they were interested in going to, and of course who had an upcoming birthday. I had thumbs up, send my well wishes, but mostly I had to be in the know about what everyone was doing. But over the years, I noticed a change…not just in Facebook and the things people began posting, but in myself as well. I found myself wondering why only a few people had reacted to the things I posted. I mean, come on people I pay attention to you! Not only did I wonder, I began to get a little upset. Did no one care? Did anyone get it? Do I think people like me when they really don’t? I didn’t post very often, so when I did I felt like it should matter to more than just a few…but it seemed I was getting lost in the shuffle. I would post about things that I found profound or that mattered to me, and watch as more people reacted to the mundane pictures of the plate of food our mutual friend was about to eat. I found myself becoming more and more irritated about it, and when election season rolled around I discovered that some of the people I had previously enjoyed being around had views I couldn’t respect. I had never been one to put much of my life online, and I began retreating more and more. I unfollowed all but my closest friends and family, but still my annoyance level grew. And then it happened…I was on a trip and my phone storage was nearly full. I couldn’t take any more pictures of the beauty around me and the people I loved. I had been whining a little bit about my Facebook woes, and someone said (sarcastically of course) “well then why don’t you just delete it?” I stopped dead in my tracks, looked at her for just a second, shrugged and said “ok!” I uninstalled right then and there, and suddenly I had plenty of room for more pictures! After months of growing negativity toward an app, I finally turned the page. I realized that the people who are close to me have my number. They will call or text and ask how I’m doing, have real conversations about things that matter, and remember my birthday without Facebook to remind them…and I do the same for them. I’m sure that some people think I’m distant or stuck up, or that they don’t matter to me. But that’s not the case at all. I will remember your birthday and send you my well wishes, and I don’t need Facebook to remind me. I do care about you…I just don’t give a flying f**k what you had for dinner.
Peace out FB!!
Have a letter you want to share with this editor for a possible posting? Simply email it to email@example.com.